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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23137054">No Loos In The Woods</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJBA_Randomness/pseuds/JJBA_Randomness'>JJBA_Randomness</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Critical Role Bathroom Tales [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Desperation, Embarrassment, Farting, M/M, Scat, Urination</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:33:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,603</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23137054</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJBA_Randomness/pseuds/JJBA_Randomness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Fjord gets a bit of an upset stomach while travelling. He's too embarrassed to say anything to the rest of his friends so he waits until they rest for the day.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Caduceus Clay/Fjord</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Critical Role Bathroom Tales [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>No Loos In The Woods</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Just another thing to add to my long list. I do love me some embarrassed Fjord with a comforting hand from Caduceus.  Hope you enjoy. Thoughts and requests welcome~</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had started out as a faint rumbling in his abdomen that was easily ignored for the first few hours of their journey. There were several days of planned travel before they reached their home. He wasn't very concerned about the heavy feeling in his abdomen and he was sure to keep his eye on it as he keeps up with the rest of the group. They weren't really paying that much attention to what he was doing so that made him feel slightly more at ease. All of the internal pressure was enough for him at the current time.</p><p>He tried to focus on not tripping over any of the roots under his feet. The sun was slowly starting to sink while they debated where to set up a small camp for the night. It wasn't the easiest terrain to make any kind of setup for even the shortest time.</p><p>"I'm sure if we head off the trail a little bit, there'll be a small clearing big enough for all of us to rest in." Jester commented.</p><p>"It would be too big of a risk. We don't know what could be there," Caleb argued.</p><p>"Honestly, any kind of plant that's there, we can more than handle it. A rash is well worth it if we can get off our feet for the night." Beau responded sternly.</p><p>Fjord shook his head and started off into the woods surrounding the path. <br/>"Come on then. I would really like to get off of my feet for the night. There's no need for all the bickering."</p><p>He could hear the others make various noises for agreement whether they wanted to or not and start to follow him. It wasn't really a matter of if he wanted a rest or not, his body was basically forcing him to stop. The slowly building pressure inside of his intestines was starting to border on painful. There was no way that he was going to be open about it to the others of the group. Fjord didn't even feel like he was going to be okay after he dealt with it.</p><p>The group was still jovial as they set up a small camp in a relatively small clearing. They were seemingly happy to start cooking and talking about the things they would do once they reached the town. It would be nice to be back in their home. All of the time spent out on the many roads away from home was fine if there was gold involved for all of their troubles and they would be happy to be in a familiar place. He couldn't wait to be able to lock himself in his room that had a chamber pot in it. His suffering could be dealt with in peace then but, he had to make it through a few nights of being in the woods.</p><p>"Hey, Fjord? You've been quieter than normal. Are you okay?" The blue female tiefling asked as she looked at the half orc.</p><p>"I'm just tired. It's been a long day and I just want to rest," he answered. It wasn't the whole truth but, it should tide her over for the time being.</p><p>He got a nod from the girl and he laid down. Laying down made it a little bit easier to deal with the steadily growing pressure. There was a bit of what was very easily identified as gas that he would rather not have slipped out with the rest of the group around him. The only one of the group that seemed to suspect that something else was going on was there pink haired cleric, Caduceus. It wasn't obvious that he knew anything and he wasn't about to let anyone else know what was going on.</p><p>Everyone was happy drinking tea and eating whatever was being cooked over the flames. They were mostly oblivious to the warlock's internal struggle and he hoped to keep it that way as he decided that it was time for him to separate himself from the group. Any questions that were asked about where he was going were ignored in favor of making sure everything stayed inside of him while he moved quickly further into the woods. Fjord couldn't help the slight groan that came out of his mouth as a sharp cramp rocked his abdomen.</p><p>It was a good thing that he was so good at travelling through woods as tripping would probably be the end of him. There was a bit of struggling with his belt while his stomach dropped. His face flushed a bright shade as a loud bit of air escaped him. No one was around to hear or smell it but, it was still severely embarrassing for him. He was supposed to be more in control than that. The whole situation was just more than he could really handle as far as his emotions were concerned.</p><p>Fjord pushed his embarrassment to the back of his mind as he settled into a somewhat high squat. It wasn't the most comfortable position to stay in for any amount of time but, he wanted to avoid getting anything on his clothes. His body wasted no time in forcing more gas out of him as well as what seemed to be complete liquid. There was no telling what had made his intestines so upset at him. Anything from Jester could have set it off if he was being honest. He was going to have to suffer through all of the cramping and pure vile pouring from him. At least he had a small bit of privacy by being away from the others.</p><p>Groans slipped from his lips with each sharp cramp that went through his abdomen. He bore down with his muscles in a vain attempt to get more waste out of him quicker. There was still the feeling of something further up in his intestines that didn't seem to want to move. It wasn't like he wanted to be stuck there for very long but, it seemed that his body was continuously against him for the time being. His legs were shaking a bit from keeping up for as long as they had. Fjord carefully lowered himself, taking care to avoid falling into his own shit. The lowered position did seem to loosen up his shit and allow it to move further down.</p><p>"Fjord?! Are you still out here?!" A voice called from behind the half orc. He was quick pitch his weight forward as he jumped.</p><p>"I'm over here! I'm also fine!" Fjord shouted back, keeping his head down. It appeared that Caduceus had been sent out to find him which didn't make him feel any better about his current position.</p><p>"You've been gone for quite a while. Are you sure you're alright?" The pink haired cleric questioned gently.</p><p>The half orc whined and strained a bit to get a particularly tough bit of waste out of him. It really didn't help prove to anyone that he was okay. There was clearly something wrong and a cleric would be a good person to talk to about it. "No. There's something terribly wrong."</p><p>He could hear the sound of hooves making their way over to him. It was bad enough that someone was going to see him in such a state especially his boyfriend. There was no real way for him to hide what was going on. His boyfriend was probably the least damaging to him for his problem. It wasn't like the other to bring anything up in front of the others. The whole thing was just a horrible joke on him.</p><p>"Oh, Fjord. What has happened to you?" Caduceus asked as he finally got a good look at the half orc. "You should rest once you get back to camp."</p><p>"I know. It's already taking a lot out of me as it is and it's not looking to be over any time soon," he responded sheepishly.</p><p>He knew that his boyfriend was looking at him with what could only be described as a kicked puppy look. It wasn't like he had gotten himself in this situation on purpose. There was another cramp that was followed by what had to be shit that was somewhat solid but still mostly liquid. Fjord tried to keep his face hidden away from the other's gaze.</p><p>"Why don't you take your pants off and we'll get you back to camp. It's not good that you're way out here," the cleric suggested.</p><p>"That doesn't seem like the best idea," he answered. "I'm still not done emptying out my bowels by any means."</p><p>"I'll dig a hole if you're really that concerned about what the rest of our friends will think. They're just as concerned about your health as I am." Caduceus explained, moving to be in front of the half orc.</p><p>"Oh. That doesn't help me all that much," Fjord replied. His bladder seemed to have had enough all of a sudden and urine just about poured out of him to rain down against the leaf covered ground under his feet.</p><p>It appeared that his luck was still terrible. He felt his boyfriend's hands under one of his arms in an attempt to help him up. His bladder was quickly empty while there was yet another ominous rumbling from deep in his intestines. Fjord careful about stepping out of his pants and underwear while keeping his boots on. The taller male was quick to take a bit of his weight as they started back towards the camp. Hopefully the others wouldn't be awake when they got back.</p>
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